You’re Grounded!!!

It is amazing how our bodies work. Our God is truly amazing in this regard. Some people can eat a ton and gain nothing and then you have me, I eat small portions and I have to run 5 miles just to keep from looking like Louie in “Remember the Titans”. God also made people that have brains that just retain everything they hear and that helps them in the areas of Aerospace Engineering and Nuclear Physics. Then there is me, my brain functions just well enough to keep me employed and out of trouble with my wife. We also can look at how the body reacts to sleep deprivation and how certain people get grumpy and yet others are able to function normally. Well this week sleep deprivation hit my wife and I. My wife would be the one that suffers from the symptom that is synonymous with a dwarf in Snow White. I tend to blow right through these things, although I will be looking to take a day off of my “day job” due my body running down (by the way it helps some that I am at work for 12 hours a day, for you see that’s 12 hours my mouth can’t get me in trouble with my wife). So I’m going to give you a peak into the “Ski” household to show you what happened this week. On Thursday morning I get up at my normal time, 2:45 am, to go fold papers thinking that this is a normal day. Well I get done folding the papers and go home to greet my normally cheerful and wide awake wife (that part would be stretching the truth a little. Suzi normally doesn’t wake up until about the middle of the route). Well this fine morning I get home to find no coffee, problem number one (major issue here), no lights on, problem number two, and she was still in bed, problem number three. So me being the kind, loving, highly compassionate, ever giving and humble husband ask here if she would like to sleep in. O.K. let’s timeout for a minute. This is where some husbands would say, “Tom are you insane? You know the answer to that question before you even ask it.” Well that’s how my feeble brain works at 3:30 am. So, she says “yes” (you really didn’t think she would say “no” did you?) and I go on my merry way delivering solo. Now let’s fast forward to Thursday night. I get off the Metrolink and we head to Sam’s Club for gas ($2.81/gal., what a bargain!) and she starts in with some questions that would beg unwise answers from me. For example (this isn’t the real question she asked as much as it is a type of question women ask that gets guys in trouble) “How does this dress make me look?” You see there really is no right answer to this question. If I say “It makes you look like the queen I think you are” she comes back with “Tom, be serious”. If I stutter, then I get “Thomas Patrick what is it?” If I don’t say the dress looks poorly on her, when that is the truth, I will normally have to pick myself up off the floor (just kidding my wife isn’t that violent. It’s more like I’m swallowing teeth. She is Italian you know. Seen the Godfather? Enough said.) So she asks one of those types of questions and after my lack of responding she tells me that I’m grumpy. Well my response in my best 9 year old voice was “No, you’re grumpy”. To her response was “No you’re grumpy”. Then I said, now remember my brain is pretty slow these days, “Well maybe you need to be grounded from the paper route tomorrow so that you can get over this tired feeling that is making you grumpy”. Smart Tom, Smart! Her response was “alright” without a second’s hesitation. So once again this morning I delivered alone. I can’t believe I feel for it. Grounding her, what was I thinking? That’s like grounding my son’s to playing Xbox all day. So, if you happen to remember pray for my thinking ability so that I make more wise decisions in regards to my fellow delivery person. You know what the worst part is, I missed having her. I missed having her because without her it’s hard to write these blogs. It’s the dynamic duo of Suzi and me that make up these funny stories. Suzi puts the fun in the word funny for me. Love ya babe! Hope to see you back soon!