The Perils of Being a Paperboy

Now most of you might be thinking what kind of perilous situations can you get into at 3:30 am? Well just remember there is a whole culture that likes the dark, mainly party animals (not to be confused with the animals previously mentioned in this blog) that drink far to much and my fellow paperboys. On one Saturday morning on my way out to deliver there were these two real skeechy looking guys trying to flag me down. Now the upstanding Christian thing to do might have been to stop and see how I could help, but fearing for my beautiful brides’ life (and mine too!) I just went right on by. Now I know, I know, what kind of Christian are you? One that believes in not testing the Lord. There was also the time I was pulled over by a sheriff that thought I was pulling out of the Ford dealership instead of the Signal (the paper I deliver) warehouse. He came up to the window and just as he flashed his light into the backseat of the car he said “ Sir, can you explain to me why………oh, you’re a paperboy?” So we both chuckled as he realized that I was just doing my job. Another would be delivering papers to a guy that has three dentist chairs in his front yard. No joke, one of the people on our routes had three dentist chairs in his front yard. Suzi was trying to figure out what forms of torture he would perform while I insisted that they were set out on the curb for anyone that wanted a dentist chair in their living room could take one. One last one would be the when there are three paperboys all on the same cul-de-sac at the same time. It wouldn’t be so bad if we all weren’t trying to impress each other with our great paper throwing ability at high speeds. Now when this happens I just try to impress my wife by saying “Honey, I’m just going to pull over while these guys try not to kill themselves.” As I say this, my mind is saying “Come on! Get in the mix! You can do it better than them!” Thank goodness I have my wife with me; she keeps me from looking like an idiot. So if you think about it tonight pray for our safety and the safety of every other tired paperboy out there that is trying to set the land speed record while throwing the newspaper.