Thoughts for the Day

This morning as I cruised around the SCV I was doing some thinking. The first thing I was thinking about came about as my stomach started to bother me a little bit and that is, “What do I do if I have to go to the bathroom?” This really is a dilemma because at 3:00 am in the SCV not much is open and that which is open does not offer public restrooms. I know some of you smart guys out there are thinking “What about a gas station?” Well where I deliver papers there isn’t much in the way of gas stations and the one that is up where I am doesn’t open until 6:00 am. Bummer! I also thought about the two markets up where I am and surprisingly enough they also open at 6:00 am. Drats! So what about a park, right? Wrong! Two parks and they attach to elementary schools and therefore they do not have public restrooms. I guess due to some really smart architects thinking they left the restrooms off because of the restrooms in the school. Well that’s fine and all, but they lock up the school. Smooth Move Slick! So now what?!? Drive home? NOT! I will have to make a friend on my route; you know hang out in the neighborhood, become friends with someone on the route and then ask them to leave a key under their mat so I can use their restroom in case of an emergency. The only part that makes this hard is the fact that I don’t get home from work until 7:00 pm. I know what I can do; I will take my kids up there and have them make friends…… no that won’t work. Well anyways I guess I’ll figure it out. Until then I guess the Depends will have to do.

The other thing I was thinking about was about Goofy. Is he a dog or a horse? No that was my dream last night, sorry. What was I thinking about? Oh yeah I remember it had to do with my sleep. I figured a way to convince myself that I am getting a good amount of sleep. Instead of thinking of it as 4 ½ hours at night and an hour here and there, I calculate it weekly. So now I see myself getting 42 hours of sleep a week. See that’s 6 hours a day. Funny how math works that way. So regardless of the fact that I get most of my sleep on Saturday and Sunday, it still looks good on paper. Boy I feel more awake already! Oh wait maybe that’s my Mountain Dew.

The Day After

Well driving around the morning after Halloween was truly an experience I will not soon forget. Pumpkins smashed everywhere, trash all throughout the streets and remnants of the previous night’s parties. I even saw three 5^th or 6^th Graders out playing in the middle of the street and yes it was 3:00 am. When I was driving around I felt like I was driving in an obstacle course. The last thing I wanted was pumpkin junk on Lisa’s car. So now we get to see how long it takes to take down the Halloween stuff. Is it like Christmas? You know the houses I’m talking about. The ones that come Easter they barely have animated figures put away and then by the 4^th of July all the lights might be down. And in case you are wondering, yes there are Halloween lights. Boy I’m glad that day is over with. Now I can down the dark streets on my route without the worry of being freaked out. Suzi will be happy, no more nightmares, phew. So now it’s on to Thanksgiving! And then Christmas! By the way……… 52 days until Christmas.

On the Wild Kingdom front…… (man do I wish I had sound on this blog. I’d want to insert that breaking news sound. You know the old ticker sound) I saw 2 big, no monster size raccoons this morning in someone’s garage. I scared them as the lights from the car hit them and they ran away. That was good for the person who’s garage was ravaged by these things, but bad for me. Why bad for me? Because they ran to the yard of the house I was going to. They ran half way up a tree in the front yard of a house that I had to put the paper on the porch of. Now up till now I had been afraid of fake witches and fake blood. Well I ran out of the car, threw the paper and ran back into the car. Man if one of those things would have so much as stuck it’s tongue (do raccoons have tongues?) out at me I think I would have wet my pants. That would have been bad! I can see trying to explain that one to Suzi. Even worse, what if those two ginormous animals would have attacked? I can see it now, “How were you hurt?”, “I was attacked by two raccoons while on my paper route”, (this would be where all the nurses break out in laughter) and then……“Sir, did you know you wet your pants?” Oh the humiliation! I do know this though, I would have to bribe Suzi so that the kids wouldn’t find out. And then there’s the blog, do you really think I would have said anything here? NOT!