Dear Diary………

Boy if that doesn’t sound weird. I feel like a 13 year old girl and my next sentence should be, “I saw Joey today and he is soooooo cute!” Anyways sorry for the long pause between blogs things were kind of slow in the humor section this week, but now I have some stuff to share and yes I am going to write it in a “true” diary format. Here we go………

Dear Diary,

Sunday was a rough day for my head. Suzi was hitting it with the newspaper as she grabbed them from the back seat. She claims it’s an accident, I think NOT! I knew those smart remarks on Saturday would come back to haunt me. Suzi also said something that is classic. My family has come to call the Suzi-ism’s because they are truly what makes her unique and endears her to me. So she’s throwing the paper and all of a sudden she does this double pump, gotta get rid of the paper like its on fire type of move, so I slam on the brakes and ask, “What in the Wide World of Sports was that?” to which she answers, “the paper wouldn’t let go of my hand!” Boy, I’ll take a few knocks in the head for that type of humor at 4:00 am.

Monday was like Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom. Animals galore. I love seeing Gods creation in the concrete jungle I call home. Saw some rabbits of course (almost hit a few, I swear they have it out for me), saw some coyotes, some mice (now I know what neighborhood not to move into), saw a few bats and heard a hawk looking for breakfast. I was singing “Circle of Life” and doing my best Elton John impersonation. It’s a good thing I’m by myself and that the windows in the Accord are safety glass.

Tuesday Kevin, the stunt man, joined me. It was a good time of fellowship. Yes, you can fellowship at 3:00 am. This made me remember a prayer I had a while back in regards to so many young men needing discipleship and the fact that I wished I had a few more hours to meet with some different guys. Well isn’t God funny, He gave me exactly what I asked for. By the way Kevin and I did set the land/newspaper speed record. For those of you in the SCV I’m sorry for that sonic boom. Man we were movin’.

Yesterday taught me a lesson about fixing the bag the newspapers are in while you’re throwing papers and driving. It’s not as bad as drinking and driving but it can have the same result. Let’s see, since Suzi is reading this what can I tell you that won’t get me in trouble………… Well it was a good thing I was driving the Saturn and not Lisa’s Accord for one thing. As I was turning and grabbing a paper while fixing another papers bag, I hit the curb due to my full attention not being on driving. Boy all of a sudden I’m wide awake and thinking to myself, “phew… it’s a good thing Suzi’s not here”. Then a few minutes later I almost do it again, I think the Lord was trying to tell me something. I believe somewhere between almost hitting a parked car and hitting another curb I finally decided to pay attention. Wow! What a morning.

Well the lesson learned this week was the lasting affect of my wife hitting me in the head on Sunday and it’s leading to my hitting curbs on Wednesday. Isn’t that amazing! Once again it’s not my fault. Man I feel better now. (P.S. See Genesis 3:12, same principle)