Are you a Playa’ or a Poser?

Over the past few weeks I have come to see paper “people”, I don’t want to offend those of the female persuasion who are throwing papers, come and go. Most of them show up the first day ready to go on the first day. The second day isn’t as good because they have actually seen the route and now know what’s ahead of them. By the end of the week they either are up to the challenge or are trying to figure out how to get out of this insane early morning job. By the end of the week most of us “real” paperboys and girls know who the playa’s are and who the poser’s are. So how can you the untrained paper recipient tell if your paperboy is a playa’ or a poser? Hopefully the following will help.

The marks of a “real” (playa’) paperboy deal with the way you look, from the way you dress to the car you drive. One true sign would be if you have a yellow safety light on your roof. If you are thinking safety first at 3:00 am and are thinking of the welfare of your fellow paperboy’s then you are a playa’. If your car lack’s a passenger’s seat so that you have the convenience of more room for your papers, you are a playa’. If your license plate cover or plate itself says anything about your early morning romp’s through the beautiful SCV then you are a playa’. If you think that your pajamas are good enough to wear to work because no one other then your fellow pajama wearing, paper throwing friends will see you, then you are a playa’. If you have more than one newspaper that you throw on your route, you’re a playa’. If you read the newspaper in a big, cold warehouse with a cup of coffee and think that’s quality time alone, you’re a playa’. If you count sleep by how much you get in a week as opposed to how much you get in a day, you are a playa’.

So now we’ll look at the marks of someone pretending to be a “real” paperboy (poser). If you show up to fold your papers ready for your “real” or “day” job, you my friend are a poser. To be a playa’ this must be your “real” job. If you are more worried about the way you look while you are throwing the paper (like someone of any significance is going to see you at 3:00 am), you are a poser. If you are more worried about the crease in the paper as you fold it than how fast you get it done, you are a poser. If you are not constantly timing yourself on your route to see if you will get a personal best time, you are a poser. If you aren’t changing your tires every 10,000 miles and getting new brakes every 5,000 miles due to your racing, I mean, driving style, you are a poser. Lastly if you are the only one that realizes that you are the insane one because you are up at 2:15 am, you are a poser. I hope that helps you as you judge weather or not you have a “real” paperboy.