Needing Tommy John Surgery

After the Holidays I am beginning to believe I am going to need Tommy John surgery. The newspapers appear and feel like they are getting much heavier. After Thanksgiving weekend I felt like I had thrown at least the equivalent of a ton in paper weight. My arm took the whole following week to recover. That was until the following Sunday when all the retailers decided to have 10 page inserts in the paper. Now this week almost every paper has had some type of newspaper insert. I kind of get the feeling that as we get closer to Christmas the paper size will go from big and heavy to massive and heavier. And don’t even remind me of the post Christmas sales. By the time this season is over my right arm will be twice the size of my left arm. If I were doing some type of weight training I would try to buy a European car that has the steering wheel on the right side of the car so that I could work my left arm a little more. So if you see me and I am leaning a little more to my right side it’s because the muscles in my right arm are getting disproportionately bigger than my left arm. Just this week though I had a thought, no an invention, for a newspaper boy, person, whatever. In order to combat this disproportionate arm problem I thought about creating some type of mechanical devise to attach to your car that throws the papers for you. So here’s what I came up with. This is cool, I ran it by my friend Shaycam and he thought this was cool too. I am going to take a skeet shooting sling and attach it to my car. Cool huh? I’d have to modify the carriage to hold a newspaper instead of a clay pigeon, but that’s a mere minor adjustment. The one thing I’m having a problem with though is the rate of speed that the sling produces. If I left the device the way it is it would put the paper either in their backyards or through their garages. Hey…..that might not be a bad idea though. Picture this as a selling, I mean delivering, point. You offer people the option of having the paper land directly on their table. You see you tell them that when they wake up in the morning the paper would already in the house. What’s that you say? What about the hole in the house? Minor details that I will have to work through. Inventors never think negatively, but then again I’ve never invented anything. So……….more than likely this will never come to fruition. It was just fun thinking of it though. I mean wouldn’t it be cool to have some type of throwing device like that? Well ok enough dreaming about what could be. It’s time to go to the gym to work out my left arm. You didn’t really expect me to be lopsided did you?