Jive Turkey Don't Know Nothin' No How

OK I was about to shut the computer down when I cam upon this gem. A grandma that talks jive. This is wrong.

And I Thought Cricket was a Weird Sport

I just got done reading this article on odd sports and it struck me that there are some weird people out there doing some weird things. In the picture to the left they call this "Bog Snorkeling". Believe it or not a person actually snorkels through a bog that is probably filled with more garbage that a landfill. I think the person who doesn't die of worm infestation wins. One of my favorites in this article though was the "cheese chasing". This is where some people, more than likely my polish relatives from Wisconsin, send an 8 pound wheel of cheese down a hill and the true pole chase the cheese. I'm telling you of all things chase a wheel of cheese? How do you prepare for this sport? Maybe you start by eating some Gouda with crackers, or maybe you make a kite out of Swiss and try to get to fly.


So after reading this I decided I would try to find my own weird sports and here is what found. When I searched weird sports I found this web site and found "Sepak Takraw". Wow, say that 10 times! t appears to be a mix of soccer and volleyball. Seems like weird hybrid to me, but then again I like "Irish Horseshoes".


Another that I found was "Chessboxing". Apparently in this all time favorite you beat the living daylights out of each other and then you play a game of chess. So in all reality you beat your brains out and then use your brains. Wow, now that brings a whole new meaning to working your mind.



Being a runner I had to include this race. When I e-mailed a couple of pastor friends of mine telling them that it was time for a road trip one came back with "Yeah right!" and the other came back "Your Nuts!"


Lastly, I found this site that had some more oddities. Take a look at games like "Pooh Sticking". Have fun. Let me know if you know of any other weird sports.

What Was This Guy Thinking?

I just got done reading this article about a guy who disguised himself as a tree to rob a bank. What kind of thought process does a criminal go through to come to the conclusion that disguising himself as a tree is a good idea? This guy, who probably still lives at home with his mom, was more than likely sitting in his room going through a list of ideas for disguises when he came up with this gem.

You know he was sitting there thinking, "maybe I could be a tumble weed, no, no that won't do. I've got it, I can be a match. I'll just lite my head on fire and noboy will know." Obviously we are dealing with a criminal mastermind here. Well on that note the cops have not caught this guy yet. Who's chasing this guy the Keystone Cops?

I mean how hard could it be to look for a guy, he's probably dressed like a bush of some sort now.

I think this might be a job for a cop that is more like a super cop. I think this is a job for Pecadillo.

Great Camp Video

With my kids currently at camp, I thought that this might be appropriate. Now I have no idea what they told this lady to get her to try this human sling shot out, but a redneck comedian would have said "Here's your sign".

To Judge or Not to Judge, That is the Question

Over the past few years I really have been contemplating Matthew 7:1 "Do not judge so that you will not be judged. “ I have to be honest with you, the reason I have been studying this passage is because I know of some people in my life that like to misquote this verse and use it as their “don’t evangelize me, I have my own personal beliefs about God” verse. They use it as a shield as if to say that we are never to look at each other with a discerning eye. Then again that is our post-modern, no singular truth society, isn’t it? So as I studied this text I found that judging one another is fine when it is with the eye of discernment and the not the eye of unrighteous judgment.

Alexander MacLaren in his commentary on this text states the following “The ‘judging’ of which He speaks sees motes in a brother’s eye. That is to say, it is one-sided, and fixes on faults, which it magnifies, passing by virtues.” In the culture Jesus was addressing it was common for people to judge so that they could make themselves look better. Adam Clarke states this about the culture at that time “These exhortations are pointed against rash, harsh, and uncharitable judgments, the thinking evil, where no evil seems, and speaking of it accordingly. The Jews were highly criminal here, and yet had very excellent maxims against it, as may be seen in Schoettgen. This is one of the most important exhortations in the whole of this excellent sermon. By a secret and criminal disposition of nature, man endeavours to elevate himself above others, and, to do it more effectually, depresses them. His jealous and envious heart wishes that there may be no good quality found but in himself, that he alone may be esteemed. Such is the state of every unconverted man; and it is from this criminal disposition, that evil surmises, rash judgments, precipitate decisions, and all other unjust procedures against our neighbour, flow.” As Clarke points out this has more to do with rash judgment than over all not judging anyone at anytime. We have to remember when looking at scripture that Jesus was addressing a Jewish culture that was wrought with ways of making yourself better than others around you. The object was to say that you may be a sinner, but you are not as bad as the guy next door. John Gill in his commentary on Matthew 7:1 says “This is not to be understood of any sort of judgment; not of judgment in the civil courts of judicature, by proper magistrates, which ought to be made and pass, according to the nature of the case; nor of judgment in the churches of Christ, where offenders are to be called to an account, examined, tried, and dealt with according to the rules of the Gospel; nor of every private judgment, which one man may make upon another, without any detriment to him; but of rash judgment, interpreting men's words and deeds to the worst sense, and censuring them in a very severe manner; even passing sentence on them, with respect to their eternal state and condition” and the Geneva Bible Commentary says “We ought to find fault with one another, but we must beware we do not do it without cause, or to seem holier than others or because of hatred of others”.

So then how is it that we as Christians are to judge? We should judge with the filter of Scripture. Alexander MacLaren once again in his commentary says “The power of seeing into character is to be coveted and cultivated, and the absence of it makes simpletons, not saints. Quite true: but seeing into character is not what Jesus is condemning here.” By judging one another by the filter of scripture we have the ability to discern who real Christians are and those who pretend to be Christians, wolves in sheep’s clothing per se. The JFB commentary has this to say “Provided we eschew this unlovely spirit, we are not only warranted to sit in judgment upon a brother's character and actions, but in the exercise of a necessary discrimination are often constrained to do so for our own guidance.” As Robert Jameison articulates we are to discriminate for our own good. But, I might go a little further and say that in watching, and judging, a brothers actions we show him our love for him. Here would be my example; if you knew that a certain drink would bring potential harm to that person would you not tell them? Or for fear of infringing on their right to drink it would you allow them to drink? That would be foolish! So as a believer why would you allow someone who thinks they are a believer or even a person who isn’t a believer go without letting them know that their belief’s do not align with scripture and what God commands of us. I would rather evangelize a person or “judge” a person and gain them as an eternal brother/sister than allow them to falsely think that they are gaining something they are not.

This is one of the biggest dangers in our post modern society. Without a singular truth people tend to believe that they can gain eternal life any way they please. They can treat God, live their own personal bell hop and call on Him only when they need him. This idea of no true truth also leads society down the road of each person having the ability to forsake what is in scripture and replace it with their own personal beliefs and what they think a “good” god would do and not do. As long as society continues to go the way of a gospel that “tickles their ears” (2 Timothy 4:3) than we as true believers must judge. Not to puff ourselves up, but to correct that which is false.

An Edwards Moment

Edwards resolution #17 states "Resolved, that I will live so, as I shall wish I had done when I come to die".

Boy, every time I read this it convicts me about how I live my life. Do I live my life as if each day was my last? Do I treat each day as if I am not going to have another chance to show the people around me the love of Christ? Do I spend each day with my family like it will be the last time I will shepherd them in the way God commands me to?

This one resolution makes me take inventory of my life. It makes me take inventory of each day. At the end of each day as I dose into the abyss of night time sleep, I take count of each moment I had. I take count of each person I encountered that day and try to think of how I treated them. Did I display Christ-likeness through my actions? Was the way I acted before them enough to sow the seeds of salvation? As I lay there in bed it gives me time to pray for the events of that day and that in the next day my words and actions would display my faith. It gives me time to contemplate if I lived as if this was my last here on earth.

Conference on Doctrinal Discernment

One of the blogs I truly enjoy is NA Humble Orthodoxy. This is a blog site that was modeled after a conference that Josh Harris started in 2004 called the New Attitude conference. It's purpose was to equip the people of the church with biblical teaching.

Well at this years conference they spoke on the Essentials of Doctrinal Discernment. I can not think of a more appropriate subject for our day in age. In a time when it seems that people are accepting the post-modern mantra of truth being relative, discernment is lacking. On this blog site they have all the sermons for you to listen too. I would strongly encourage you to visit this site and listen to what some of my favorite preachers have to say on discernment. If you don't have time to listen to them all at least listen to one of CJ Mahaney's sermons. He is one of favorite preachers because he sums up humble orthodoxy. He is funny, witty and right on with his theology.

Enjoy!

My Day at the Dentist

A couple of days ago I had the pleasure (I don’t know how true that sentiment is) of going to the dentist. About a month ago I broke a tooth and I have finally got around to going in and getting it fixed. I really don’t mind the dentist and my dentist is a pretty cool guy.

Well this all started out by me having to take off early from work to get to the appointment. (This provokes a question: Why do dentist have the hours 9 to 5? I guess its ok with them if you take a sick day to see them or even worse take a vacation day. If you ask me their hours should be from 6:00am to 10:00am, take a break, and then back for a 5:00 pm to 9:00 pm shift. Works for me, how about you?) So I get there at 1:00 pm for my appointment, sign in and go sit down. Just as I start getting into HGTV the receptionist says “Tom, do you have an appointment today?” I think to myself “you’ve got to be kidding!” So as she is scrambling around to fit me in the thought occurs to me that maybe I should just re-schedule. I bring this up to the receptionist and she insists it’s ok and that they will be able to get me in. I should have insisted on re-scheduling.

A few minutes later I am ushered back to my room. As I sit down the dental assistant apologizes for the chairs’ headrest being broken, but assures me that it shouldn’t affect the work that the dentist needs to do. I should have insisted on re-scheduling! The stinkin’ headrest kept sliding the whole appointment. I guess when she said that it wouldn’t affect my appointment she meant that it wouldn’t affect the dentist monkeying around in my mouth.

After this episode the dental assistant started to prep my mouth for the dentist. She put this rubber thing in my mouth and said that it would help relax my jaw. Relax my jaw?!? You should have seen the size of this thing. If you have roller blades go look at the brake on them, that’s how big this thing was! (no big mouth jokes) Then she puts this paper contraption over and in my mouth. This thing was anchored by rubber bands that fitted around my teeth. Yes, they feel real good. It’s at this time that out of no where my heart rate starts to increase and I feel like I can’t breath. It was unbelievable; I was having a panic attack. I never have panic attacks. I really should have insisted on re-scheduling. Well after talking myself out of the attack, I started to relax some.

It’s at this point that I hear the nurse say “I can’t get it to stop bleeding”. This peaks my curiosity. Since I can’t feel anything, I’m wondering how bad could this be? Well it was bad enough that they had to seal everything back up and tell me that they would have to finish fixing my teeth once the blood vessel they hit healed. So I ask “How long will that be?” To which the dentist replied “one month”. I should have really insisted on re-scheduling. What a way to spend my sick time.

So now I sit here at work with a sore mouth, from I assume a healing blood vessel and with another dentist appointment in a month. I sure hope they don’t forget and if they do I will insist on re-scheduling my appointment

An Edwards Moment

As I read Jonathon Edwards Resolutions this morning, his resolution #28 stood out to me. It reads “Resolved, to study the Scriptures so steadily, constantly and frequently, as that I may find, and plainly perceive myself to grow in the knowledge of the same.”

My wife, Suzi, and I meet with young couples and couples to be all the time and the one constant we find is that they struggle with their time in the Word. This does not surprise me, because we as a society, Christians included, make ourselves so busy that we squeeze God out of our lives. At times I am certainly guilty of this. I will schedule early morning meetings before I go to work and set my alarm to go off only early enough to provide time for a shower. The paper route helped me to schedule my mornings better and even to learn how to lean on God when I am tired.

Another problem is that we are entertainment driven and the reading of scripture is not entertaining to us. When I was a young Christian this was a problem for me. The reading of scripture just did not seem fun and bored me. I now know that this could have been a fatal flaw in my faith. If it were not for a sermon I heard during this time I probably would still be looking for the entertainment value in scripture. In this sermon, the pastor asked his congregation “what brings you here this morning? Is it the reading and instruction of the Word of God? Or is it me and my speaking ability?” He went on later asking if the people were at that particular church because of its reputation in evangelical circles. This hit me like a ton of bricks. Was I merely looking to be entertained? Was my enjoyment on the Word itself?

After this watershed moment my Christian walk changed drastically. I now read the Word because I enjoy reading about what God has done through the people in scripture who struggled just like me. What an example these men and women are! I just don’t read the Word though, I listen to it. As you can see by the podcasts I have designated out, I listen to a lot of different pastors. The main thing though is that these men teach the truth and do not water it down. So between reading and listening to the Word I fill my mind with scripture.

The main benefit that comes from the constant reading and hearing of Gods Word in my life is that when I am dealing with hard times at work or at home I have scripture in my mind to recall. It helps strengthen me in those times of trial. Like Edwards, I find myself growing in my knowledge and its truths.

So I leave you with this, are you reading scripture “steadily, constantly and frequently”?

What Does Your Child Own?

These days bring many difficulties for Christian parents. In a day when our society teaches us there is no absolute truth and advocates behavior that defies the Christian faith a Christian parent can find themselves at war with the culture and their kids. It is in these days that we as Christian parents constantly and consistently teach our kids the truths of scripture. It is in these days that we must train our kids that they cannot be saved on the basis of anyone else’s faith other than their own.

I see many Christian parents focusing more time on the world than on teaching their child about who our Lord is and about his death and resurrection. All you have to do is watch the news and browse the Internet to see that many parents get more caught up in protesting a political policy than raising a child that can influence the world for Christ. In these kids sights God is a political advocate and not the God that rules over kings and world leaders.

It’s not only the political Christian parents though; it is the average pew sitting Christian that is failing their kids also. As a person who sees many Christian college students every year, I can tell you that they come to college not knowing what their faith stands for. I would venture to say that quite a few students get to college and begin to doubt their salvation because they start learning doctrines they have never been taught before. Many of these students have never had their faith tested and therefore do not “own” their faith.

So what is it to “own” your faith? “Owning” your faith is when you start to take ownership of the doctrines that are key within the Christian faith. It is not just the starting process though; it is the continuation of learning the tenets of the Christian faith. We are called to be like the faithful Bereans ( Acts 17:11) and to search the Word of God. We are to be like the early Hebrews and to be in a constant learning process when it comes to scripture. We should be reading the SHEMA (Duet. 6:4-7) and do like the early Hebrews did. I read the following article by Dr. Ronnie Jeff Johnson and tend to agree with him.

The most important place for Christian education is not a theological seminary. Neither is it a Bible college or Christian school. It is not even Sunday School or other church services. Where is the most important place for Christian education? Basic instruction on Christian Education is found in Deuteronomy 6:4-7. To the Hebrews, this passage was known as the SHEMA, a primary confession of faith. It provides a clue to the most important place for Christian education.

Hear O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one! (4)

The first Hebrew word in verse 4, SHEMA, is "hear" or "listen and obey." These verses were read at the opening of synagogue services. They were to be said two times each day. They were held in such high regard that they were quite literally taken, in that, they were actually worn on the body and written on doorposts of houses and city gates.

You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might. (5)

The Hebrews understood that personal relationship with God is essential. Christians today understand that a personal relationship with Jesus Christ as Savior and Lord is essential. The Jews recognized this as one of the most important passages in the Old Testament. Jesus called verse 5 the "greatest and first commandment" (Matthew 22:36-38).

And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart; (6)

"These words" (verse 6) refer back to the Ten Commandments given in Deuteronomy chapter five. The Ten Commandments represent all of the instructions, commands, and promises contained in the Word of God. The Word of God should be in your heart. In the Hebrew understanding of physiology, the heart is the seat of the emotions, mind, and will. Whatever is in your heart, makes you the person that you are.

Therefore, it is important to have the Word of God firmly embedded in your heart. Memorization of the Word is important. Meditation on the Word is more important. Understanding the meaning of the Word to your life is most important of all. For an understanding of what the Word of God means to you will guide your actions, desires, and inner motivations.

You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. (7)

The most important place for Christian Education is not a seminary. The most important place for Christian Education is not a Bible college or Christian school. The most important place for Christian Education is not even in the church or Sunday School. The most important place for Christian Education is the home.

It is a place of diligent instruction. Parents have a responsibility to religiously educate their children. It is a place that uses lifestyle instruction. "Do as I say, not as I do" just won't work. Your children see you when you go to church, study the Bible, and tell them what to do. The also see you when you get up in the morning, drive them to school, watch a video or TV program, and hit your thumb with a hammer. They see what is important to you and they see what you do after church service is over.

You shall bind them for a sign upon your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorpost of your house and on your gates. (8-9)

This is the figurative language that was taken literally later on. The Word of God was written on parchment, placed into leather pouches called phylacteries, and worn on the forehead and on the back of the hand. It was a good idea at first, because every time a person looked at his hands to do something, there was a reminder that the Word of God was to guide their actions. However, like many good ideas, the phylacteries lost their meaning after a time and became like a good luck charm with no deeper meaning.

Do not neglect the meaning of these verses. The Word of God should be upon your hands, influencing everything you do with them. It should also be as "frontlets between your eyes," guarding what you look at and think about.

The Word of God was also written on the doorposts of houses and gates of cities. This served as an announcement to anyone who entered that God was a member of that household. Does everyone who enters your home recognize that it is the most important place for Christian education?

Each and every day I pray that my children would “own” their faith. I pray everyday that my children would never be negatively impacted by my actions or my words. Knowing that I am a sinner raising a sinner I do not act in self righteousness as much as out of a sense of love. I desire to see all three of my kids in heaven and therefore it is important that they know the way.

As Christian parents we must pray that our kids do “own” their faith.

Are you Standing on Jell-O?

This morning as I read Shaycam’s blog on a job decision he made, I couldn’t help but think of all the people that would sacrifice their own personal beliefs for a job. I applaud Shaycam for his decision because he actually stood for his convictions. In today’s society we have many people, who like our presidential nominees (Giuliani and Edwards in particular), who say that their faith will not get in the way of making decisions. Why have beliefs at all if they are not going to influence your decision making? I believe we have a growing problem with people who call themselves “Christians”. Both of the men I state above call themselves “Christians” and yet vote for abortion, partial birth abortion and stem cell research. How does that jive with the Christian faith? It doesn’t!

This problem is bigger than that though. It is a problem that lies within our pulpits and what is being taught. We see the Episcopal Church with gay priests, we see the Methodist Church with a transsexual priest and we see many so-called Evangelicals throwing away many Biblical doctrines because they are offensive to our culture. The church is trying to be relevant to the point that it is watering down the effect of sin. The modern church is more interested in culture and the number of people attending than the salvation of the people in the pews. I would cast all the judgment on the preachers, but that would not be biblical. We are to be like the Bereans in Acts, who searched scriptures to verify the teaching they were getting. We as the pew sitters need to be discerning and instead of allowing our ears to be tickled by every type of doctrine, we need to stand for the Truth.

So, how do we go about creating change in a society of pluralism? How do we stand for something as solid as the Word of God when our society tells us that the ground we stand on can only be as firm as Jell-O? Well we start like Shaycam. We stand firm for what we hold as our core beliefs. We are willing to be fired from work because the job goes against those core beliefs. We leave the church that is teaching that homosexuality is acceptable. We do not allow preachers to get away with teaching heresy. We battle for the Truth. Remember this is a war. We use the sword that is the Word of God to strike down the heresies the post-modern church is selling us. At the same time we show the love that Christ showed us. We love those men and women that are caught up in homosexuality and show them that they need to repent and turn from their sin. We need to love unbelievers, knowing that once we were unbelievers and if it wasn’t for the grace of God we would still be wallowing in sin. We battle sin in our churches, we battle the heresies, but we do it in love.

It is my firm belief that by making strong decisions in regards to our faith we impact the people around us. I am confident that Shaycam’s decision impacted the people he worked with. I don’t know what affect it will have on any of them, but at least they know what he stood for. Christianity is not a political system. It is not a political party. It certainly is not a world view that can be turned on and off when we feel like using it so that we can get votes.

Thanks for your example Shaycam!

Jonathon Edwards Moment

Resolved, never to do any manner of thing, whether in soul or body, less or more, but what tends to the glory of God; nor be, nor suffer it, if I can avoid it.

Whenever I can I try to read through Jonathon Edwards’s resolutions. They are such a good reminder of what I should be doing with my life. As I read through them a few minutes ago this one really stuck with me.

This stuck with me, because I tend to be a very competitive person. I try to play basketball every Saturday morning and sometimes on Sunday nights. Due to my competitive nature I can do more harm to the Gospel message than positively influence those around me. The Lord has been gracious to constantly bring to my attention these times so that my hearts desire is to compete so that I glorify the Lord and not myself. My desire is that those around me would glorify my God more because of my actions, not that I would drag them into sin.

This also stuck with me, because I work in a secular job and have to deal with gossip and people talking ill of others. I wish I could say that I have never talked ill of a co-worker, but I cannot. I am not quite the gossip, but if someone is lazy in the workplace I have problems keeping my mouth shut. The Lord has been very gracious to me in this area too by gently tugging on my heart and reminding me that I am lazy when it comes to my obedience to Him. I know that work ethic should spur others on to work harder and that my actions should be a non-verbal Gospel message.

I pray daily that my actions and words would first, be in alignment with each other and not in contradiction and secondly that my actions would speak louder than my words.

Life Without a Paper Route

I have to tell you the past few mornings have been glorious. I never thought 10-11 hours of sleep would be so enjoyable. In case you haven't noticed I am not the person that likes to be in bed for long periods of time. I feel like I am wasting time if I spend more than 8 hours asleep. The past few days though have been sorely needed. 10 months with only 4-5 hours of sleep a day....wow!

My last day on the route, Saturday, was great. A good friend of mine, Mike, came along to take in the glory of the day. We enjoyed going around the route knowing that at that time Sunday I would be sleeping. We talked about the times I would walk into church trying to find a person to sit in front of that I wouldn't want to see me doing "head bobs". Last week it was Dr. Barrick, an elder at our church. We talked about the days of throwing the newspaper that had a Cheerios's promo and all the boxes of Cheerios flew all over peoples driveways. I do believe that sometime this summer one of the people on my route will find a box or two in their garden. We also talked about life without this early morning fellowship time. As much as I am glad that it is over, I will miss it.

So now that I am wide awake what will become of "Paper Boy Diaries"? Well I think it will become a potpourri blog of all the things I enjoy and think are funny. It will range from my faith, my church and my God to what movies I like and funny things I see in the news. As scary as it might sound I'll let you into the abyss called my head....... somewhat...... not totally.

First non-paper route post to come soon.

Second To Last Day

Well one day to go on the ol’ paper route. I don’t know what emotion is the best to describe how I feel. I feel sadness because, I was able to use this time to listen to some people preach that I normally wouldn’t have time for. I was for the most part able to listen to about 3 sermons every morning while I delivered the papers. I was able to listen to one Emergent pastor speak on how the sin of homosexuality is no different than a person who has a weight problem eating a chocolate bar. Don’t worry I also listened to Piper, Johnny Mac, Francis Chan and Al Mohler. But, oh what fun I had at 2:45 am listening to Mark Driscoll. Secondly I feel great joy I do not have to get up at 2:00 am any more. No more worrying about papers that land on the roofs of cars. No more worrying about water getting into the plastic bag. No more worrying about if I’m going to kill a wayward kamikaze bunny. I also feel thankful. I am thankful not only that my paperboy days are completed, but that the Lord taught much about my possessions and having the proper perspective on the things I own. Every time I think that I need o have a better car, I need a better house or that I deserve more stuff for my house, I will always remember 2:00 am wake-ups. I will remember delivering papers and the sleep deprivation it caused. What a way to have a point driven home. Thank you Lord! I am also thankful for those people who prayed me through this time. Do you realize that in the 10 months that I was delivering papers and getting between 4-5 hours of sleep a day I didn’t come down with any major sicknesses? I had one ear infection at the beginning of the paper route, but nothing else. Due the prayers of many and the grace of my God I stayed healthy. Oh, what a blessing!

Most of all thank you to my family for enduring this time with me. Theirs was a sacrifice too. Their sacrifice was in that our normal routine was turned upside down for 10 months and they rolled right with it. They put up with my mood swings due to sleep deprivation. Thank you Suzi for being my co-pilot for the first couple of months. That was probably the most fun I have had with you in our marriage up to this point in our lives. Thank you to all my other co-pilots too. What fun it was delivering with my favorite stuntman Kevin and delivering with my good friend Mike. Thank you guys for the company and the fellowship I will never forget it. Well if I have the energy I will blog tomorrow about my last day, if not I will try to get it in sometime this weekend.

Yes I am Still Alive!

After nearly 10 months of delivering papers I am still alive. I have not killed any rabbits or creatures of the night. I will say though that the paper route is coming to an end. On May 26th much rejoicing will come out of the Santa Clarita Valley from my family and friends. Why on that day you might ask? Well that is the last day I throw papers. We have turned a significant financial corner and are starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. It has been a rough 10 months and I appreciate all the encouragement I have received.

So you may ask what will become of Paperboy Diaries? Well after much debate I decided that I am going to post here every now and then about everything that I enjoy. That would be everything from religion to college football, from theological issues to funny stories I read on the Internet. I hope you enjoy it.

Do You Have a Faith Worth Owning?

So what do I mean when I say, "Do you have a faith worth owning?" What I mean is do you understand what it is that you believe?

So many times as we grow up we pick up beliefs and faiths that are our parents, our pastors or our good friends and we do not test them by the fire of scripture to see if they are true. So, am I telling you not to believe your parents, pastors and friends when it comes to religious beliefs? No, I am not. What I am asking you though is have you tested what you are calling your faith?

For example you may have grown up in a home where your parents, pastor or friends are full blown Calvinists. You are taught that, Total Depravity, Unconditional Election, Limited Atonement, Irresistable Grace and Perserverance of the Saints are the main tenants of our faith as Christians and that this is salvific in nature and that if you don't believe this you aren't saved. (Note: This is only an example and is not the topic of this blog. Maybe we will tackle that one later) Is that true? Is it true only because of who taught it to you? Is it true because the person who taught you was convincing in their argument? Or, is it true because you searched the Word of God and found it to be true?

So now look at what you believe and I do mean all you believe and be like the Bereans (Acts 17:11) and search the scriptures so that you might test it to be true. Have a faith worth owning! Have a faith that is worth defending when asked about it! Have a faith that You Know is true! Don't be afraid to ask questions of those older and more learned than you, but test their words against scripture. I exhort you to have a faith worth owning!

**This post was originally made on the Night Vision Blog

It's been a While!

Well It's b een a while since I last posted and it's primarily been due to sleep deprivation and not enough time in the day to work, make time for the family, do ministry and deliver papers. For those of you who might be wondering, yes I am still doing the route and yes the humor is still not there due to my lovely bride not delivering with me anymore. I will tell you this about the route though, I have cut the time it takes to do my route down quite a bit. Now you might be asking, "How did he do it?" The secret to my success lies with those wacky cheaters at NASCAR. Yes I have got my route so memorized that I literally use jet fuel in the Accord to get around. The only danger to all this is that I have almost been in two accidents since I switched fuels. The accidents almost happened because I can't keep track of all those rookie newspaper people and all those who chose to go the speed limit at 3:00 am. I may have to switch back to regular octane though because Lisa, our roommate and the owner of the Accord, says that it doesn't handle well around town on this fuel type. Suzi just says that it is not economical. I say whatever! I go faster and thusly the route is done faster. Anyways that's the update.

Just as a PS to the above note, I am also going to start posting some other blogs here that I write for another blog I am involved in. I hope you enjoy them. Please let me know what you think too.

Peace! Out!

It Finally Happened

Well for as long as I have been writing this blog I have been talking about the kamikaze rabbits that are on my route. Well this morning I believe I maimed one. The reason I say I maimed one instead of hitting one is because after I had circled around I did not see him. What happened was, I was driving down this one long stretch of driveway before I get to some condominiums and the stinkin’ rabbit ran under the car. Now this is a dangerous path for me and I have always though that if I was going to hit one it would be in this stretch of my route. Well as he, she, it ….. whatever, went under the car all I heard was, THUD! As I drove away I tried to look in the rear view mirror to see if there were rabbit guts all over the driveway, but it was much to dark to see anything. Now, the condominium complex I deliver to is a loop and I go out this same driveway to get back out to the street, so I figured I would look on my way out. Well on my way out there was no hint that I hit anything. As I drove my route I was trying to figure out what could have happened. I mean when the rabbit went under the car it was a pretty big, THUD!

So here are some explanations, I thought of, for what could have happened:

1) His, her, it’s …..whatever’s friends went out into the street and carried it back into the bushes. While in the bushes the medic rabbit attended to the one wounded in its kamikaze efforts.

2) The rabbit in question hit its head on the under belly of the car and gave itself a serious headache. This could be classified as a concussion, he may want to get it looked at.

3) The rabbit in question, being unsuccessful in its attempt to kamikaze itself into the car, went off into the bushes and committed Hari Kari to save face.

4) Lastly, I believe he was an instrument of the Lord to wake me up. Now normally I would say this jokingly, but this time due to the loud THUD! And the smell of burnt fur, hair, fuzz…..whatever, I stayed awake the rest of the way. Man I hope the smell goes away before Lisa drives the car again.

So, I still haven’t killed a rabbit, but I guess you could say that I used one as a speed bump. With Suzi’s love of animals I do believe I can still sleep in our bed tonight. Besides it was the rabbits fault.

A Few New Years Resolutions

This past year has been very interesting for me, especially the past 3-4 months. I would have never thought that I would have made it this long delivering papers at 3:00 am and then working a full shift at my day job. The Lord has greatly blessed me with the strength and stamina to take this challenge on. Along the way I have learned a few things that have inspired me to post the following resolutions. NOTE: These in no way are anything like Jonathon Edwards Resolutions and should not be mistaken for them. Any resemblance is purely coincidental.

1) Resolved – I am not a funny person without Suzi. I don’t know what it is, chalk it up to my ability to not do anything funny on the route or the fact that I am by myself and that I don’t recognize when I am being a knucklehead. So as a resolution I will try to get Suzi back out on the route a few more times. This will be a big challenge.

2) Resolved – I will not take on more than one route. Over the past week I helped out one of my fellow couriers by subbing in on his route. I normally deliver around 300 + papers on my own, but with his I was delivering well over 600 papers in the morning. When I delivered on Sunday I basically was handing his customers the paper. This was due to the fact that after I delivered my route and got into his route, his customers were waking up. So as a resolution I will deliver only my route for the remaining months I have doing this.

3) Resolved – When it comes to delivering papers on holiday’s such as the day after Thanksgiving and New Years I will paint my car black and white and see if I can get a red flashing light and siren. I figure the only way I am not going to get killed on those days would be to pose as a cop. Hey I have an even better idea, maybe Pecadillo will let me barrow his squad car one morning to deliver papers. Man that would be better than delivering the paper in my mother-in-laws convertible Lexus. So as a resolution I will avoid psycho women on their way to sales at insane hours in the morning and I will avoid drunks, who insist that haven’t drank anything while holding a bottle of some alcoholic beverage in their hand.

4) Resolved – To stay warm. Now if you live outside of So. Cal. I realize that 30 degrees is no big deal, but when you are racing up and down the residential streets and its 30……. Sometimes when I get home I feel like my eyebrows and my beard have icicles on them. Sometimes I get home and my hands, even though they are in gloves, are frozen. I don’t know what it is, but I rarely use the car heater. Maybe because I always grew up with my dad saying, “Are you trying to heat up the whole block? Close the door!” when I would have the house door open and the house heater on. I guess it’s the same concept. I feel like I am heating my whole route. So as a resolution I will turn on the car heater.

5) Resolved – Lastly, I pray that I would write at least once a week on this blog. This one we’ll have to see. This could become more challenging as I become more tired. So here’s to hoping.

I hope and pray that all of you out there in the blog-o-sphere will have a good year in 2007. I pray that through my pain and sleep deprivation I would bring a little humor into your life.

Christmas Day

I hope and pray that all of you had a blessed and safe Christmas. Mine was very good. It is always a good day in my house when we can open up the Word of God and read of His Grace, Love and Mercy.

This year was much different than past Christmas’s. Since I have a paper route I had to deliver it before any Christmas festivities could happen. I was fortunate to have the help of my daughter. It was a lot of fun to have her with me. I don’t get much father-daughter alone time with her so this was a cherished time for me. Before I start to tell you about the fun we had, just know this, she is her mother’s daughter. If you have been following this blog at all over the past month or so you will understand this comment. If you are new to this blog then do your heart some good and read some of the early blogs when Suzi was doing the route with me.

The route actually started earlier than normal because it was Christmas. For Christmas the papers are off the press by 8:30 pm, this meant we could deliver them anytime after that. It seemed kind of odd to me that you could deliver the Christmas paper on Christmas Eve, but I’m not one to complain about such petty things. I figured I would go in at about 10:30 pm and fold the papers and be done with my route around midnight. This was a special thing to me, because it meant that I could get 8 consecutive hours of sleep. On our way home from celebrating Christmas with my parents Corrine asked if she could go with me. As I contemplated my 8 consecutive hours of sleep, I thought about how much more time I would have with her. You see she is a junior in High School and will be off to college in a couple of years so I told her she could come. She was quite the trooper too; she came in a folded the papers as well as delivered them with me. Now up to now some of you might be thinking “enough of the sappy dad stuff. Where is the funny stuff? You said she was her mother’s daughter.” Well the funny stuff started once we left the warehouse. When we started she was trying to figure out how to throw the paper. No big deal I thought, just tell her it’s like throwing a Frisbee. Well after a couple of papers in the gutter (Note: when I drive I am almost on top of the gutter, so when you throw it in the gutter this constitutes a throw of about 6” to 1’ in distance) and a period of traveling at 2-4mph (Note: remember I like to drive like a NASCAR driver when I am delivering) I decided that a new course of action was needed. From here I started to show her by example. Things got much better until…..she threw the paper and didn’t let go of the bag. This was hilarious for three reasons. Reason one, the paper came out of the bag and went into a million directions. Newspaper all over the place! If that wasn’t bad enough (reason two) the customer was still up and saw the whole thing. I cleaned up every bit of flung paper out of their driveway under their careful watch and gave them a new one in tact. I do believe reason three though is the coup de grace. She then told me, once I got back into the car, that even though she had the plastic bag in her hand that she let go of the paper. She was truly puzzled and perplexed at the fact that when you hang on to the plastic bag the paper comes out all by itself. She then insisted that she let go of the bag. I tried to explain to her the simple physiological fact that when she let’s go of the bag it leaves. It does not stay in your hand. So for the remainder of the route she tried to justify what had happened. Now let me rewind a little so that I can preface the next funny thing that happened that night. When I go out most mornings it’s probably in the 30’s and the cold weather is such that I need to wear a beanie cap and gloves. You know 30 degrees at 15-20 mph can be pretty cold. Well this night it was probably in the upper 40’s so I saw no reason to wear my beanie or my gloves so I put them on the console between Corrine and I. OK now let’s get back to where I left off. Corrine and I were done for the night and had just pulled into the garage when I realized that I only had one glove in the car. I know I distinctly remember bring two in and even Corinne agreed. Well as she and I went through the car and the night we realized that she must have thrown it out of the car with one of the papers. I couldn’t believe it! She had thrown one of gloves with a newspaper. All I could think of was that I wished I would have known we were giving out presents while on the route, because I would have given that customer both gloves. I mean other the Michael Jackson everyone wears two gloves. What a way to end the night. Now back home at 1:00 am and being pretty much wide awake due to the thought of flying papers and someone picking up their paper and finding my glove with it, I had to slow myself down so that I could get maybe 6-7 consecutive hours of sleep. Well I enjoyed myself just the same and I would not trade it for anything.

Now stay tuned for more adventures with Corrine. This time I will be taking a few of her friends with me. That should be good enough to provide me with at least two blogs worth of material. See ya then!